(Warning: This one made me cry writing it. I am a twenty-three year-old American male who watches football and occasionally UFC fighting (Bold and italics is for all the haters out there) Make sure you correctly read that last statement (Not the one in parentheses) Ok. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you 
)
This video always gives me chills…
What John Piper talks about in that video hits so close to home for me. It’s one that gets me angry. I pray to God it’s a righteous anger. I hope it is. For those of you who know me pretty well, you know I lost my father to cancer just a few years ago. I can safely say it has been one of the most defining moments of my life. My father was one of the most godly men I have ever known. Not without his faults mind you (maybe a little stubborn… so unlike his son 
), but a man who dearly loved the Lord and dearly loved his family. My dad was a servant, humble and so selfless. He was an incredible model of what a man of God should be (I am so thankful for it everyday). What an unspeakable blessing, especially in our day of dead beat fathers who have never learned what it means to grow up… a topic for another time, perhaps?
My dad was diagnosed with cancer in his leg when I was about eight. At the time, this form of cancer was considered highly curable. He had surgery and radiation on the cancer and went into remission. We thought the battle had been won, and life returned to normal.
When I was thirteen, I can remember coming home from a soccer game at school and seeing cars all over parked in front of our house. It was bizarre. I kept trying to think if I was forgetting it was someone’s brithday (not that I’ve done that before). When I walked in the house, there were all of our friends from church and family members sitting around the house with this look of dread on their faces. It was apparent to me that nobody in the room wanted to tell me what was going on. The next thing I remember was walking into my parents bedroom and seeing my dad lying on the bed talking with some of the elders from church. The moment my dad saw me he started to cry his eyes out. I don’t think I had ever seen my dad cry before. Pretty traumatic to say the least (thirteen year old boys don’t really know how to handle emotions… just putting it out there).
I soon found out that my dad’s cancer had come back. However, this time it had been caused by the radiation used to cure him the first time, and this cancer was far more serious and aggressive. Even worse, I found out my dad would have to have his leg amputated in order to save his life. My dad was an incredibly active man. Losing his leg was like tearing out his heart. He was devastated. I was terrified.
Thankfully, his surgery was successful. Over the next eight years, my dad was on and off chemotherapy in order to try to fight the cancer. Before I say anything else, although my dad was never fully healthy from that point on until he died from the chemo, he was still there and still my dad. I thank God for every basketball game he got to see me play, for every choir concert he got to see, and for every time he told me how proud he was of me and how much he loved me. So many others are not so fortunate. God is so truly good and gracious. However, my dad suffered so greatly over the next eight years. There were times when the pain was so bad from the tumor in his back, that he would be in screaming agony begging God to let him die. Those are hard words to write. But it’s the truth.
Friends, there are people out there today in the Church telling us it is God’s plan for us to be healthy and wealthy. That if we just have enough faith and do all the right things (like send a check to their ministry), God will heal us of our diseases and put money in our bank accounts. Sadly, I think this comes from the result of a culture that doesn’t suffer much making pleasure a god. My dad was not a man lacking faith. Neither were our friends, family, or church. Countless people prayed countless prayers for my dad to be healed. And God could have healed him. He heals people all the time. But He didn’t heal my dad. This was difficult to accept. I am not going to lie. But it was God’s plan.
Let’s be frank. God is not a vending machine or a genie in a lamp. We cannot somehow appease God or do enough “good things” to get him do our bidding. We are all creatures who have rebelled against God and deserve nothing. The very fact that we breathe air is a miracle and evidence of God’s grace and goodness. The fact that God sent his Son to die for us and take upon Himself the punishment we deserve is so incredible words cannot describe it. Please, ponder God’s love! It should leave you breathless. It should leave you in tears. I know I don’t ponder it enough. That God would endure unspeakable pain for you and me while we were his enemies? What a Savior!
God is a God who heals. God is a God who blesses. But they are simply a bonus upon the ultimate grace of His Son. They are not ultimate. When we focus on these things, they become idols. Blessings cannot and should not overtake the Blesser. God is at work not only in the good but in the bad. In fact, in my reading of Scripture, it seems God mostly uses the bad (makes a lot of sense… we humans screw things up pretty much all the time). The examples are endless (Joseph, Job, Paul, Peter, and Jesus Himself to name a few). But this is not reason to despair but rejoice! If God can take the ultimate evil, the killing of his Son on the cross to bring you and me into relationship with Him, let us not look on trials as punishment or God being capricious towards us! These are things God is using, as the writer of Hebrews says, to bring many sons to glory! The pain of this world will be but a faint memory in eternity. So too will be the blessings of this world. Enjoying God will be forever. Grab a hold of that truth and never let go.
When my dad passed away, I can safely say it was the most horrible day I have ever had. But yet, I knew he was finally home. I knew he had been restored. I knew I would see him again either when I died or Christ returned in glory. There wasn’t despair but endless hope. Soon it came time for my dad’s funeral. In all my life, I have been to only one funeral with more people at it then my dad’s. I would guess that at least half the people there were not Christians. They were either people my dad had known at work or people he had met and befriended throughout his life. I knew the moment I sat down in that church why God had allowed my dad to suffer for so long and die. At that funeral, so many people heard the gospel and heard the testimony of how faithful my dad had been as a Christian. I think my dad would count all the pain he suffered, not seeing my sister and I finish growing up, and not being with his wife whom he so dearly loved worth it. That the gospel would be preached and God would be glorified. May I be so lucky and so used by God to suffer as my Savior… and my dad.
Thank you for sharing this, and I hope others can see the selfishness, hopelessness, and futility of the Prosperity Gospel movement. I remember being briefly sucked into the Prayer of Jabez stuff several years ago, and it’s a travesty that this garbage is still being preached today. Your dad sounds like an amazing person, and he would be proud of your witnessing.
Great writing Jon. You are a wise man!
Jon – this is SO great. Thanks for opening up and sharing your testimony and wisdom! I am seriously so blessed.
Thanks for your kind words, my friends.
Thank you, Jon, for your witness and sharing about your dad. Perhaps a few things about him (and me) that you may or may not know. I first met your Aunt Jan in the fall of 1964 when we were freshmen at Augsburg College. I met your dad shortly thereafter – I was born 8 years before your dad so I was 18 and he was 10. I never met your grandfather Arnie because he had already passed away (I think when your dad was 4) and I know your dad did not remember much about him. So, in a haltingly shy sort of way, I tried to be a second dad. In those years we had a very tight relationship. We enjoyed American Flyer trains and Aurora TJET racing cars together. As your dad became an adult, we drifted apart a little bit – mostly because we were not totally in sync on issues of politics and theology. I never did ask him about the details of how he met folks who were attending Crystal Evangelical Free and then how he and your granmother transferred their membership to Crystal from Faith Lilac Way Lutheran (wished I had!).
Unlike you and your sister, your dad was not a gifted student during his secondary education days but he had a knack (for loss of a better term), an understanding, a way with things mechanical and electrical that, I, with a PhD, could not come any where close to emulating. He got me into Ham Radio (something I always wanted to do but did not know how to become proficient with the Morse code) This did not happen the other way around.
Most notably though, his faith caught fire long before mine did. I knew about the triune God ever since I could understand the stories read to me by my mom. Our family said a table grace and my brother and I recited the Lord’s Prayer every night at bedtime. In hindsight, I realize that I approached things spiritual strictly as an intellectual pursuit. I realize more recently that, while knowledge is important as a tool of discernment to help one in understanding the true Word in scripture, the Holy Spirit of the Living God communicates primarily through the heart, amidst the hungering and thirsting of the humble believer. (Makes sense, I guess – no way a limited human being can come close to conversing on an intellectual basis, with the omipotent Father.)
As it became to clear to your dad, that my faith and thankfulness for the grace of God through the sacrifice of Jesus was growing he told me he was seeing the change in me and was very happy. (This, of course, did not come close to his happiness – even in the midst of his pain and sufferring, when you told him of your intent to pursue seminary education.)
I think you know, Jon, that I loved your dad and he loved me. I prayed long and hard that God’s healing power might be made available to him but, clearly this was not in God’s Will. But God did provide your dad with a moment of Grace that your Aunt, in particular, will NEVER forget as long as she lives. I cannot remember where you were in the midst of this event but maybe the gift was also to you, your sister and your mom – I am not sure. It was that night a few days before your dad began his journey to Paradise. He had been suffering greatly and was greatly under the influence of pain killing drugs. This was the day that your Aunt and I somehow (no – on second thought – not somehow – God was clearly involved in this) were able to get on a plane at O’Hare airport, even though several flights had been cancelled due to weather and we were at the end of a very long waiting list. Your dad was coming in and out of consciousness and when he was awake he was mostly delirious. Sometime after returning home that night I answered a phone call. It was your dad! Clear headed, apparently not influenced by the drugs or the pain, he talked with me and your Aunt as we remembered him before his suffering began. A God-given moment to talk with those he loved the most? We certainly think so!
I have a few more, more personal remeberences, I would not put online, including an event that involved you as a toddler, that speaks to your dad’s love of you.
Your uncle, Walt
By the way, I agree fully with the sentiments of the YouTube video you marked for us. I find the “American Way” of life not so necessarily in line with the Christian way of life. Not easy to do something about it. We could compare notes on that sometime.
Thanks for that Uncle Walt. It’s always good hearing stories about dad. God has been good to all of us and faithful always.
Jon, your way with words and your passion for truth are such an inspiration to those of us who struggle with “wanting to see God work”. We must always remember the truth of your writing. God is good through sufferings and blessings alike. Thanks for the post. It is evident the Lord has granted you an ability to use for his kingdom. I look forward to talking and reading with you more in the coming months!
Jamie, I’m pumped for talking and reading with you as well!!!
Hi Jon,
What a beautiful, loving and honest tribute to your Dad! Thanks for sharing. Wayne read it after you wrote it and I just had your Mom send me the link. I remember the last time we were there before your Dad died. He and Wayne ate in the bedroom and Jeanne and I ate in the kitchen. We didn’t want to stay and wear him out so after supper, we said we needed to get going. He didn’t want us to go-finally close to 10 pm your Mom said “Do you want them to stay overnight or something?” We had a good visit. We happened to be home for the weekend from Chicago and on the spur of the moment called to see if we could come for a visit. I think it was just a couple of weeks til his battle was over. I know he would be so proud of you, Julie and your Mom and how you’ve adjusted to life without him!
Amen Jon,God’s riches are not the things of this world,Thank you for sharing the truth from your heart.